


Forgiven

by brink



Category: Jessica Jones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 06:06:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5901181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brink/pseuds/brink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A happy ending for Jessica and Luke - just as soon as one last hitch is dealt with.</p><p>Beware the "Love" tag! This is awfully heartfelt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgiven

**Author's Note:**

> This drabble was written a while ago on account of CoryHolmes' suggestion I write some Luke/Jessica. So even though I did the other one, this is for you, CH! Thanks for your support!

Things fall into place slowly and with little fuss after Kilgrave is put behind them.

Them. There is such a thing. A Luke-and-Jessica. What had to be delicately sidestepped earlier and never mentioned - their individual scars, the burden of painful memories and how they connected - it now forms the ground under their feet. What they suffered at the hands, well, words of Kilgrave becomes the fundation on which they build a new beginning. If Jessica had a mind to spare Kilgrave another thought in her life, she would have considered the seething outrage the man would feel over the idea that it was his involvement in their lives which definitively drew Jessica and Luke to become a single unit.

They are an actual fucking couple (not just a couple fucking), though it takes them months to admit as much. It doesn't matter - they are not in a hurry. Far from it. Theirs is a steady burn, building all the time. The sex is a constant, satisfying beyond belief. And now, they are somehow mentally, emotionally free to pursue the quiet moments in between: Him twirling a lock of her hair between his fingers, her tracing the scars on his body, eyes locking on to each other, conveying things they are not yet ready to put in words.

Is she happy? "I guess, kind of," says Jessica when pushed to a reply by Trish. It's important not to become too happy too fast. There are too many pitfalls in this wretched life, and Jessica has learned that if one does not anticipate the very worst, it will come at your most happy and hopeful moment and take it all away.

But the world, in truth, has become so much less threatening after Kilgrave departed it. Not only is that particular monster gone, but Jessica defeated him. Whatever else life throws at her, let it. She has proved herself capable of slaying demons, and it fills her with a confidence she has long been without. And however much Jessica tries to stay a cynic, something has taken root in her, something planted by the way Luke looks at her, and how he smells, and how he feels, and how he laughs. And a thousand more _and_ s - she's discovering new ones every time they are together.

Long before she wants to, Jessica loves Luke.

But before their relationship can transcend the honeymoon phase following Kilgrave's death, one last memory standing between them must be addressed.

It comes to light one evening in bed when Luke is caressing Jessica's knuckles. It's a lovely moment to begin with, but something switches on his face, and then Luke is frowning at her hand.

"How can I..." he mutters.

His tone of voice is uncommon, conflicted. There's a jab of something cold in Jessica's chest. "What is it?" she says, fearing the worst.

Luke stills his gentle strokes and holds her hand in his. It's a long moment before he looks up at her.

"This is the hand that killed Reva," he says quietly.

That is the worst.

Jessica feels a glimpse of old emotions. The hopeless nature of the act itself, watching Reva fall away, her face impassive to the monstrous crime committed against her. Jessica remembers her own horror, heartbreak, shame, and desolation. It revives a desire to withdraw from Luke and seek the company of a bottle instead. These are emotions that want drowning.

But the thing which has been quietly blooming inside of her keeps her still. Jessica doesn't speak. An instinct, or maybe an understanding of Luke that isn't conscious yet, makes her wait for him to make the next move. He can't be after apologies, because he has already had it. He can't be after an explanation, because he has that as well. He can't be after remorse, because he knows she is eaten alive by it. So Jessica waits on her lover to tell her what he needs.

"Am I a monster?" His voice is barely above a whisper. Luke rarely shows a soft side, and he shows vulnerability even less. But this is that. "How can I feel the way I do about... about you... when you..."

He looks up at her. Jessica clenches her jaw, eating whatever words might spill forth and poison what is between them, and wills herself not to flee the scene.

"I know it wasn't your fault, Jessica," says Luke with a little more force. "I know that. I felt the effects of his orders myself. That was not something you could fight the way you and I fight things. But I still don't know what kind of man it makes me. I loved Reva more than I ever loved anyone else... Is it right? To love this hand, when it killed her?"

"I don't know," whispers Jessica. Her voice is rough around the edges. "Luke, I..."

 _Run_ , say her instincts. _This is too massive, Jessica, too much and too complicated. It can't be solved, so go running._

Jessica had a chance to run when Kilgrave returned as well. But then she didn't. She faced it head-on and she came through. This, realizes Jessica, is just another kind of demon. And she is braver now for ending Kilgrave. She can get through this as well. She only needs a different kind of strength.

"I don't know if it's alright to love me, Luke," she says. "I don't know, because I can barely love myself after what I did to Reva. I know he told me to, I know I had no choice, but it was still me. I did it. I'm a killer. I can't convince you I'm worth loving, because I... I can't even convince myself."

The weight of this confession settles heavily on Jessica. Her pain bared to the bone, she feels a trail of tears run down her cheeks and does nothing to stop them. Luke deserves to see her this way, pathetic and broken under the weight of the crime she committed. It was nice while it lasted, her and Luke, but it was a pretty lie. Murderers don't get happy endings. Jessica isn't deserving of love, least of all his.

Luke takes her hand.

Jessica's eyes fly to his. A moment before she was too ashamed to look at him. But now that she does, she sees a new tenderness in his eyes that causes something inside her to nearly burst.

While keeping her gaze, Luke slowly pulls her hand to his lips. Jessica wants to pull it away. _Not worth it_ , whispers a voice inside her. But, choked up and laid bare before him, Jessica allows herself to be as vulnerable with Luke as he with her.

When his lips finally touch her skin, it sends an electric fizzle all the way to her heart. Luke says nothing: He only kisses each knuckle slowly and gently, then trails kisses down her fingers to the tips of them and back up, holding eye-contact the entire time. An eternity passes that can be measured by nothing except the purest forms of emotion.

As a last thing, Luke presses her hand to his heart and leans in to capture her lips.

Something has been communicated between them that can't be put into words. All Jessica knows is that every fiber of her being is alive with honest devotion, and that it does not spring from Luke's love for her. Instead it comes from the love she feels for herself, the one he opens the gates for with his forgiveness. If Luke can love her, him with least reason to, Jessica can love herself. It's all a circle, things building on each other.

And Jessica knows in that moment that whatever will happen between them and whatever ghosts are in the past, she and Luke have grown so tightly together nothing can ever again pull them apart. They are not separate, but face the same demons and the same pleasures, and will face them together.

Always.


End file.
